The holiday season is looking different this year amidst the pandemic.  Some families are choosing to meet outside under space heaters, or they are making gatherings smaller than usual.  People are abandoning regular traditions and inventing new ones to keep everyone as safe as possible.  Although gatherings appear to different, there are some things that never change during the holiday season.  This season tends to emote an expression of gratitude.  Whether you start a gratitude journal, say a prayer of thanksgiving, or write a card of appreciation to a loved one, these are practices that can be carried out year after year.  Practicing gratitude allows us to be mindful of those we love and helps us connect to self.  Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can even alleviate anxiety and make us feel more connected to others.  This is an important practice when everyone feels so physically isolated.

Although physical connection is limited, our meaningful relationships with others can be fostered in creative ways to boost the holiday time.  Use technology platforms to connect separate households during dinner or sing a carol or two with each other.  Donate to your family’s favorite charity to promote a common good during an especially needy time of year.  There are even online games available for a family scavenger hunt or silly sing along.

This year may not seem like years past but expressing memories to each other will nurture connection and fondness of previous years.  Start an email feed of sharing favorite recipes and memories of being together.  Create a tree decorating contest among households.  Contribute old pictures of family and friends gathering from previous years to a text thread.  Or make a favorite playlist of music for the entire family to enjoy. These activities may provide a glimmer of hope for you and your friends and family.  Although these are substitutes for gathering, the traditions may stick for years to come.

Written By:

Kristen Ernst, MA, LPC

Owner and Operator of the Center for Hope and Healing in St. Charles, MO

It has been said that great love equates to great grief.  Mitch Albom, stated in Tuesdays with Morrie, “Death ends a life, not a relationship” When a loved one dies, there is a gaping hole felt in the mourner’s life.  Grief does not end.  It is a journey that has many unexpected turns and valleys.  The unpredictability of emotions can be quite unsettling to those that have had a loved one die.  One common thread amongst mourners is the reluctancy to “let go” of the loved one.  The concept of continued bonds challenges that school of thought and allows the bereaved to hold on to the memories, cherish the loved one, and accept that grief will become a part of life.

Continued bonds are the recognition that the love for the deceased does not end in death.  Because the grief is on-going, there are ways to actively mourn a loved one and foster that connection with those that have died.  In my years of grief work, many bereaved talk to their loved one, or carry a trinket that stirs a beautiful memory.  Fostering that connection is an important part of the grief process.  Many that are mourning notice a butterfly, a cardinal, or a rainbow that will remind them of their loved one’s life.  These beautiful connections to nature are a small reminder of the people we miss and bring a sense of comfort during an emotionally difficult time.  Many that are outside the mourner’s circle may discourage these continued bonds and see it as an unhealthy way to grieve.  But those that are advocates of healthy grief would attest that mourners are able to renew their hope by finding ways to connect.

Looking through old photos, planting a garden, or wearing a piece of treasured jewelry are all examples of fostering the continued bond of a loved one who has died.  Normalizing and validating this behavior is an important part of the grief process.  Recognizing that a loved one’s imprint will remain on your heart forever helps with the realizing that “letting go” does not have to be a necessity.  To explore how to foster those continued bonds or understand more about your grieving journey, please check out the Center for Hope and Healing’s grief support groups or book an individual appointment with one of our licensed professional counselors.

Written by Kristen Ernst, LPC

Owner and Operator of Center for Hope and Healing

During the past few months of the pandemic and community quarantine, it has become abundantly clear that there has been an overall decline in the country’s mental health.  Depression and anxiety are increasing.  The combination of a downturn in the economy, people losing jobs, and the lack of interaction with others, has created many feelings of hopelessness and isolation.   According to USA Today, the United States has seen a 25% increase in the suicide rate.   In order to combat these daunting statistics, there a few things that can boost the “happy” chemicals in the brain.  It is now more important than ever, to create an environment that fosters a feeling safety and security within our bodies and our own homes.

Completing a task or celebrating a small win for the day can produce higher levels of dopamine in the brain. Hugging your family and playing with a pet will boost your oxytocin.  Serotonin is a mood stabilizer, which can be produced through sun exposure and meditation.  Endorphins increase with exercise or by watching a funny movie.  These chemicals combat feelings of isolation, depression and anxiety.  Practicing healthy self-care habits are crucial to your mental stability as an individual.  Being mindful to put these habits in practice daily can make a big difference to one’s overall mental health.

As we look ahead, September is suicide awareness month.  Mental health professionals continue to collaborate and cooperate to support the community’s mental health crisis through this pandemic.  Organizations are creating programs that enhance the feeling of support while remaining socially distanced.  Online support programs, 24-hour hotline, and online counseling are in high demand for those needing a lifeline.  So many times, when feelings are expressed and witnessed, the ability to heal from those emotions become possible.  Joining an online group may combat the feelings loneliness and normalize the grief journey.  You can find more information abut these groups on Center for Hope and Healing website.

Creating a “happy brain” within and reaching out to each other is a great way to reduce the loneliness in the community.  If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is always best to call the national hotline, 1-800-273-TALK, or visit the nearest emergency room.  As we look to prevent suicide, we must educate ourselves and others on how to address thoughts of suicide and lessen the stigma that it carries.